Here In This Diary
by blacksouledbutterfly
Summary: I told you life was hard. You just didn't believe me.....Year Seven is about to become more complicated for Hermione Granger than she thought possible. A Draco and Hermione story.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

* * *

_13, October_

_Dear Diary,_

_The world has been falling down around me. For some reason I can't sleep tonight. The castle is quiet, everyone else is asleep. I have never seen the common room so empty._

_There is great tension between Ginny and Harry. Since last year, since they revealed how they felt about each other, nothing has been the same. There is this space between them, filled by this quiet, this long, lingering, hard quiet. I can't get them to break it._

_"Talk to her," I tell Harry._

_"I can't. I won't put her in danger, Hermione. I will not do that to her."_

_Sometimes I think that Harry really is a fool. Ginny doesn't care about the danger. She loves him! She has loved him since she was eleven years old and she will love him until she dies. I am sure of it._

_Yes, she did pretend that she was okay with him not wanting to be with her during the war, but how could he believe that she was telling the truth when she told him that? Girls hardly ever say what they mean, but even after all this time of being my friend, he still has no clue what a girl thinks like._

_I suppose I can't blame Harry for being a little worried. We all are lately. Nothing has been the same since...well, since last year. Since Dumbledore...died._

_I admit I was foolish. I trusted Snape just as much as the professors did. I even believed that Malfoy wasn't evil, wasn't against us. I was wrong. Or maybe...I don't know. Something tells me, some kind of a nagging voice in the back of my head tells me that maybe I wasn't so wrong. Maybe I was right and maybe, just maybe they weren't so evil. And if that's true, then maybe there is hope that Snape is really on our side. And maybe Malfoy can be as well._

_

* * *

_

_14, October_

_Dear Diary, _

_Professor McGonagall made the best choice she could, I think, rehiring Professor Lupin to be out Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. Many parents protested, stating that they didn't want a werewolf to be teaching their children, but she merely reminded them that she was now in charge of Hogwarts._

_Of course that meant that she could no longer be in charge of Gryffindor house, which was fine, because she appointed Professor Lupin to that duty as well. I think having him here is a small comfort to Harry. Since Dumbledore's death he seems almost in a fog. Now he has someone here who he trusts._

_True, he is no Dumbledore, and he is no Sirius, but he is someone who Harry trusts. That is something._

_Ron got a letter from his mum today. Apparently Bill is doing better everyday, and Molly is even becoming more use to the idea that Fleur will soon be a member of the family. I don't know how I feel about that, but I'm not a member of their family. I just think that Fleur is a brainless prat. And I know I'm not alone._

_Molly seems to like Fleur now though. Or at least, she doesn't bother her as much as she use to. It's most likely because Fleur was so nonchalant about Bill being attacked by a werewolf. I guess she really does love him._

_Ron however has been totally nutter lately. He has been acting so strange around me lately. He sat down next to me in the common room and just kept fidgeting, kept looking at me. I dropped my quill. "Is there something the matter, Ron?"_

_"Um...um..no."_

_"Then would you please tell me why you are sitting there, looking at me as though I have grown an extra head?"_

_"I...um." He cleared his throat. "Well, Hermione, I just-"_

_"Excuse me, but could you two please stop talking? Some of us are trying to work."_

_Lavender has hated me since last year, since I had gotten so upset about her dating Ron. I don't even think dating is the right word. They were sucking each other's faces off to be honest. Either way she treats me as though I have the plague or something._

_So much has changed since last year. People are no longer here, there are some of use who rarely speak anymore as well._

_Some things never change though: Ron still asks me for help with our assignments all the time._

_

* * *

_

_15, October_

_Dear Diary, _

_Mrs. Weasley sent us an owl to tell us the ministry heard from Malfoy through an owl. He told nothing about where he is or what he is doing, but he told us that he is sorry for what happened here last year. He claimed he never wanted to kill Dumbledore but was told he had to. That he couldn't so it._

_"He's bloody lying!" Ron roared. "He doesn't give a damn about what happened here! He wishes we had all died!"_

_"But he didn't kill Dumbledore," I reminded him._

_"Because he didn't get the chance to," Ron said. "He was beaten to it by Snape."_

_I decided not to talk to them about this anymore. What was the point? All it would do was get us into an argument and I didn't need us fighting like that. We had done so much fighting in the past that now, if we were to go at it, I don't know if our friendship could handle it. And if it couldn't I would lose one of my best friends._

_I don't think I could live with that._

_

* * *

_

_16, October_

_Dear Diary,_

_Do you ever get that feeling that something big is going to happen? One of those feelings that you just can't explain, but it's there? Like something is just around the corner that is going to change your world forever?_

_Last night I dreamt about Snape and Malfoy. They were standing on the edge of the Dark Forest. There was something so sad in Malfoy's eyes. I can't explain what it was. I wish I could but there was this fear that no one would forgive him for what happened, that he would be hated for the rest of his life, and I remember thinking, that he was a Malfoy and wouldn't care about that._

_"Granger, you have to listen to me," he whispered into the dark. "Something horrible is going to happen here. Hogwarts..its not safe."_

_I stood there looking at him. "Like before? Like when you betrayed us all?"_

_Maybe it was my imagination, but I could have sworn he flinched. "Listen to me, if you hate me, I understand that, but you have to believe me. If you stay here, you'll die, Granger."_

_"Even if that were true, why would you tell me? Why would you care?"_

_Snape sneered at me. "Stupid girl. Not as smart as you think you are, are you Miss Granger? If you cannot understand, then people gave you too much credit."_

_"Listen to me Granger, this is not about who you are. This is about what you can do," Draco told me. "You have to get out of here."_

_"What are you talking about? What can I do?"_

_"You can be the turning point in so many things. You will be able to do so much, Granger. You have to leave this place before you die."_

_"But-"_

_"Just leave, Granger. Leave Hogwarts!"_

_I woke up in a cold sweat. I wish I knew what this dream was about. I wish I could talk to someone about it, but I can't. Harry and Ron would go completely nutter if they knew. _


	2. Chapter 2

_17, October_

_Dear Diary,_

_Harry has been afraid to even get close to Ginny lately. I think he's afraid that something will happen to her. Perhaps he should be. I don't know what to say to him to make him feel better about the situation. I wish I had the right words, I wish I was able to comfort him, and Ginny. It hurts to see two of my best friends hurting._

_I found Hagrid crying in his hut today. He wouldn't tell me why. "Ne'er ye mind, 'ermione. Ne'er ye mind. Jus being silly, I am. Nutin ter worry yerself about." _

_He didn't have to say the words for me to know he was mourning Dumbledore still. We all were, but it must be different for Hagrid. Dumbeldore gave him a chance when no one else would, trusted him with his very life. I supposed Dumbledore must have been something of a father to him. Maybe not. Maybe I'm wrong. Still, seeing Hagrid cry brought back such horrible memories of the funeral._

_Things here will never be the same. I walk down the halls and know Dumbledore will never sit again in the Great Hall, smiling at us with his all knowing smile, nor will Malfoy call me a 'mudblood', nor will Professor Snape come billowing down the halls with his usual sour expression. Everything I have known, everything I took comfort in, has faltered, everything has changed. The war rages on outside of these walls, but these halls no longer hold comfort or the promise of protection. They can be breached so easily we have learned, and no where in this world is truly safe._

_

* * *

_

_18, October_

_Dear Diary, _

_Sometimes I want to cry. Nothing here is the same. Nothing will ever be right again. I wish I could turn back time, stop this war somehow, stop everyone from suffering the way they are. _

_Fred and George came to school today. It was strange, seeing them walking down the halls again. "Here to talk to Professor McGonagall," Fred said._

_"Wants our help," George added. "Using some of our...products as extra security measures. Just to warn people when there is an intruder in the school."_

_"Of course, there is the chance it will go off prematurely," Fred conceded._

_I suppose it is a comfort, that not much has changed since they first were here. Still, do they think that they can help us? Do they think that these little inventions of theirs will keep us safe?_

* * *

_19, October_

_Dear Diary,_

_I feel as though I am losing my mind. I dreamt of Malfoy again last night. _

_He was in Slughorn's classroom, what used to be Snape's. He was leaning against one of the desks, watching me, studying me. His gaze made me uneasy. He had never looked at me like that before. Not with disgust, almost with fear, and worry, and something else, something darker that made me feel dirty._

_He tilted his head to one side, his white blonde hair falling in front of his face. He cast a gaze around the classroom, settled his eyes back on me, smirked in that irritating way he always did. "You didn't listen to me, Granger."_

_I folded my arms across my chest, so much like his own arms, scowling at him. I didn't care that this was a dream, it was my dream and he had no right to just invade it like he did. "What are you talking about Malfoy?"_

_"I told you to leave Hogwarts, Granger. Its not safe for you to be here anymore. You must leave this place at once."_

_I let out an exasperated sigh, turning towards the door. "This is a dream and I do not need to listen to you. This is my dream, and I'm leaving." My hand closed around the cold doorknob, but it wouldn't turn. I tried again, casting a glance behind me towards Malfoy, then reached for my pockets. No wand. Right, no wand because it was only a dream. I turned back towards the Slytherin I hated so much. "What do you want, Malfoy?"_

_"I told you already, Granger. I want you to leave Hogwarts before it's too late."_

_"Too late? Too late for what?"_

_"To save you life, of course." He said it as though I should know that already. "You will die if you stay here, Granger. You will die in a most painful way, and then you will be no good to anyone."_

_"Why do you care, Malfoy? Shouldn't you want me to die?"_

_He shook his head as if disappointed. "You really know nothing, Granger."_

_"Malfoy, let me out of this stupid dream." Once again I was facing the door, this time banging on it with my hands. This was supposed to be my dream, meaning I should be able to control it. Maybe I could get someone's attention in my little dream world and be let out. "Hello! Can anyone hear me?"_

_"There is no one else out there, Granger." His voice was so much closer than before, and then his arm was around my waist, hauling me back and away from the door. "Do you want to die, Granger? Do you want to fail your friends?" There was a sharp pain in my back, my skin felt like it was screaming. "You feel that, Granger. I know you do. That pain down your back. It's gut wrenching, isn't it? Do you feel that? That's your blood running out of you. It's a strange feeling, isn't it Granger? To feel your life leaving your body, slowly, painfully. Your visions is blurring from the pain. Your knees are getting weak. If I wasn't holding you up you would be in a pile on the ground. There are spots in front of your eyes. You feel yourself dying, don't you? It hurts, doesn't it?" _

_He reached over to my face, lifted it up so my neck was starting to hurt. His face was blurry, but I could make him out. Barely. "This is your destiny if you stay here, Granger. This pain, this brutality. Its your destiny." Something about his touch became gentle, his thumb running over my cheek. "You can change your destiny, Granger. Leave Hogwarts. Save yourself. Do the best thing you can for your friends." His lips defended on mine, hard and bruising. I tried to protest, but I was fading out. I could barely hear, couldn't see, couldn't move. "Leave Granger. Please leave Hogwarts. Find me. I'll help you. I promise you, Granger. Just...trust me. Just this once."_

_Waking up felt was the biggest relief I've felt in a long time._

* * *

_20, October_

_Dear Diary,_

_I can still feel his lips upon mine. Somehow that one feeling lingers. I can't seem to shake it._

_Ron was more angry at than usual today. It seems that's all there is to him lately. Anger and angst and raw emotion he doesn't know what to do with._

_Sitting in the common room, working on a potions scroll he grew frustrated. "Bloody hell! Damn thing!" He threw his parchment across the room, his quill following._

_I barely glanced up, and shook my head. "Honestly, Ronald, grow up."_

_"Oh, shut up! This is stupid! It's pointless! There's a war going on!"_

_"Thank you for stating the obvious, Ron." Ginny glanced up at him through her bright red hair. "We already know that."_

_"So, what are we doing here then?" he asked. "We should be out there, fighting, not sitting here in this bloody school, learning stuff we don't need to know. What good will it do anyway?"_

_I glanced up at Harry. He was sitting as still as he could. There was a tension in his jaw. _

_I placed my hand on Ron's arm. "Ronald, sit down. Calm down."_

_"Do not tell me to calm down, Hermione!"_

_"I am telling you to calm down, and sit down!" I placed my quill down calmly. "You are not the only one worried here, Ronald, and to act like you are is to imply you are the only one who is worried, so do everyone a great big favor and shut your mouth before I hex you."_

_He turned to me, glaring. I returned the glare, casting a glance towards Harry hoping he would get the point. It took him a while, but he did notice it after a while. Sighing, looking now both angry and embarrassed, he gathered his things and headed towards the boy's dorm._

_None of us spoke for the rest of the night._


End file.
